When you've bolted on every available upgrade, fiddled with every adjustable setting, embroidered your name on your bespoke race suit, hogged every available minute of the instructor's time, and you still can't catch those pesky Clios in your GT3RS and have come to the realisation that you are, in fact, simply a bit shit.....fear not.

 Step this way and dig out one of our tried and tested, World class, racing driver excuses so none of your 40-yr old virgin, keyboard warrior, sad-sack chums recognise your tragic lack of driving ability.